How to Talk to Anyone (Leil Lowndes)

Cliques, clubs: reframing belief in cliques and exclusive clubs as a need for greater manipulation and rapport strategy.

First impressions are basically people's permanent baseline for you.

"Great posture, heads up, confident smile, and an intentful gaze."

Normies require being smiled at, with a 'correct' interval and appearance of the smile.

Normies require being stared at (strong eye contact), but with a lot of arbitrary rules that make it not seem creepy.

Sticky eyes exercize: act as though the focus of your eyes are glued to the conversation partner. When looking away, do it slowly.

Epoxy eyes exercize: looking at a person of interest when someone else is speaking. "Why are they looking at me instead of the speaker?"

Eye contact is the first "organ of romance."

Epoxy eyes is effective on women--if they find you attractive.

Normies look at bodily posture as a status signal.

Think of something sixty times a day and it becomes a habit.

Closed fists signals rejection and disinterest.

Females are more particular about body movements and ticks than men.

Leaning forward towards people sends a signal of interest, and away signals disinterest.

Big Baby Pivot: whenever you meet a new person, give them your full focus/smile/etc.

Behind every person is a "big baby" that is looking for someone to acknowledge how special they are.

Hello Old Friend: pretend the other person is an old friend you have not seen in a long time.

Human lie detection: fidgetting movement, seeking out any behavior outside the "allowed" set of normie behaviors, and flagging the person as dishonest.

Limit the Fidget: you are not allowed to perform any movement not immediately related to speaking to the person; or you will be assigned as a low-status person.

Clever hans: a horse that people thought was smart, but was just interpreting human body language.

Mental rehearsal: act as though you are doing some activity, but pretend, to prepare for actually doing it.

Highly paid corporate officers talk to boards but still are afraid of smalltalk.

Fear of smalltalk shares the same markers as stage fright.

Sluggish people get upset when someone speaks near them with high energy.

High performing manipulators/"communicators" are supposed to match the tone of voice of the person they are talking to.

A banal speaker captivating a crowd due to body language, gestures, tone of voice modulation.

Anything you say is fine as long as it "puts people at ease" and "sounds passionate."

Remarks do not need to be original if they still put people at ease.

Prosody with Passion: people overly infer from tone of voice and acting over actual word contents.

If the first words out of your mouth are a complaint then everyone labels you "a complainer."

Speaking with passion to get the other peron to begin talking.

Whatsit: a single article that does not conform to the standard allowable outfit, with the purpose of inviting another person to pointing it out and beginning a conversaion.

Scrutinize the clothes of someone you want to approach (seeking 'interesting' conversation starting material.)

Ask party host for information about guests to better approach them.

Eavesdropping: paying attention to if anyone speaks of a target in the group, or someone in the group says something you can interject in to.

"Where are you from?" and "What do you do?" are fatal sentences. People might answer but will then immediately ice you out.

No man would speak to you if he didn't know his turn was next.

When inevitably asked for your job; do not answer with a job title. You will be punished by being iced out. Give an explanation of the job with many words so someone who does not know what the job is will understand it.

It is not necessary to speak loud or often; but it is necessary to bail out a conversation if it begins to die.

If a conversation partner is diverting a conversation it means they want to talk about something else instead.

Highly confident people make other people talk about their own lives (although when I try this it doesn't really work.)

Sales tactic; keep the spotlight on the other person and only partly on your product.

Parroting: use words from what the person said in your response. Affirms you heard them without contributing anything.

Ship officers loved telling tales of their heroism to new crews. But they sometimes need to be encouraged to start.

If someone is above you in stature, revealing foibles can bring you closer. (ex. a distate for broccoli.)

Revealing skeletons in the closet is only appropriate if you are perceived as very high status.

One business owner instructed her female employees to watch daily news so they knew what topical conversations to have with clients.

Cannot ask "what do you do?" because its a kill sentence; you have to ask "how do you spend most of your time?"

Customizing resumes for each job you are trying to get--to play up particular details relevant to that company.

Deep profiling people you are asking for a job to best be able to manipulate them in to giving you the job.